Competition: What's Healthy, What's Not

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By Erin Holt

 A little competition can be a healthy and a fun thing. In our boys class, for instance, there is quite a lot of this healthy competition. This is a class of about 12 boys. They often compete to see who can jump the highest, who can do it the fastest, who can do it with one hand, who's got the coolest or hardest trick. This class is one of our most fun in which to particpate as well as to observe. Sometimes, this class reminds me of a dance war. This is a dance that originated with tap dancers where two or more people compete or try to outdo each other with harder and harder steps. Simple moves that are performed well are just as respected as more complicated ones. This friendly form of dance competition is occationally used in jazz dance and I've seen it in hip hop or street dance. Although not too common, one of my own favorite ballet teachers would promote a dance war in his ballet class from time to time. The great thing with dance war as with my boys class, is that everyone has a good time and you leave with a little more respect for the other guy. In our ballet program, students are encouraged to clap for fellow students that do a really great job on a step or combinations of steps. This is healthy competition that help students attain self-confidence and to set goals for themselves. It can really get students moving. I've seen many students surprise themselves with their own achievements once they decided to do it. Sometimes the impetus for these achievements is some friendly competition. When competition is healthy, it is friendly. It's fun. It's about being excited to learn a new step and it's about respecting your friends and being excited for them when they learn something new.

Competition can easily turn serious and become unhealthy. I had a young student not long ago, who gave me a whole list of reasons why she was jealous of her long time dance buddy. Though somewhat natural, her competitive nature was becoming unhealthy and causing her much upset and a possible ruin to a great friendship. Of course this student was handled quite swiftly on this point and now enjoys much success. Phrases from students like, "I'll never be as good as Jill," indicate more losses then successes and should be brought to the instructors attention to be handled. Jealously, lack of confidence and even a lack of friendships can result from unhealthy attitudes about competition. To be perfectly honest (I hesitate here because I'm bound to hit a bit too close to home) I often find that it's the parent that is more competitive than the child. Children are familiar with friendly competition. They play board games, computer games and games at school. What is healthy competition if it's not just another game?

Adults, on the other hand, have been fighting for the paycheck, the raise and for the job. In business, we SLAM the competition and claim that, "It's not personal, it's business". We want to make more, be better, move faster and do everything in our power to achieve our dreams and goals NOW. Sometimes, the same goes for the way we feel about our children. We each feel that our own child is the best and should be the best. We may be able to see that she/he needs improvement, but it's quite hard to accept when your child falls behind or when another student of similar age and ability jumps ahead. When your child doesn't make the audition, the level or grade, she may break your heart with her cries and complaints, but she will recover from the loss a lot faster than you probably will. When competition becomes serious, it's important that parents and teachers encourage and help students understand their own responsibility toward the game without encouraging any of your own competitiveness. Encourage a love of learning and a respect of talent in others. Don't get into agreement with all your child's complaints, but do make sure that the student is studying or doing classes and activities that he enjoys and that those activities are being taught to him in a professional and formal way he can really understand, without experiencing too many losses. 

Parents and teachers can validate and reward students for learning that new step or making the next level. Make a big deal about it. Be sure to take pictures at the performances and bring flowers or take her out to dinner after the show. Make sure your child knows how proud you are of his/her abilities and help your child feel special and talented all on his own merit.

Posted via web from California DanceArts's Posterous Blog